Military Spouse Business - Faithful and Fruitful Steps

Starting my own business has been a step into the vast unknown, until now.

What business? 

Don't feel left out of the loop!  I haven't actually launched it yet.  But I have made the first steps, and I am learning a whole lot.

You may already know I started my search for a purpose (beyond the home) a few years ago.  I decided I had an opportunity to create a niche for myself, allowing me to be an available wife and mom while also developing my own interests and purpose.  So, I took the basic first steps into Faith.

Exploring my faith was my first step, and it has also become my guide.  This blog was developed out of my desire to communicate with others about what I was learning.  It also expresses how I observe the world around me from my growing Christian perspective.  The process of blogging introduced me to an online community of military spouses, and those spouses are inspiring me!

Over the last couple of years I have kicked around several business ideas, looking for the right fit.  But it wasn't until recently I got kicked back in the butt, and I truly started focusing on what I have to offer.  That kick in the butt was from Kaye Putnam, founder of Successful Military Wife!

Kaye develops programs that coach entrepreneurs in an online group setting.  I joined, not really knowing what to expect, but hoping to find some basic guidelines for moving forward with something.  What I found was not only a guide for moving forward, but I also found actionable focus and a community of support that I will continue to turn to.

Over the month of April, Kaye shared so much advice that I will be going back over it again and again.  As a member of the test group for Kaye's Marketing Makeover Challenge, I have been invited to be an affiliate and share the information about the upcoming June challenge.  I will also be participating in the June course, because I have a lot more progress to make!

Click here to find out more information about joining the June Marketing Makeover Challenge with me.  Whether you are just getting ideas together, like me, or already have an established business, Kaye can guide you to developing more effective marketing.  I'll be there!

(And if you are still wondering about what business I am starting... click here)

Expect Conflict

Conflict. We know it will always be there, yet we act so surprised when it pops up.  We collectively roll our eyes and sigh in frustration, or even defeat.  Often we fight back, but rarely do we take the time to consider the proper field for the battle.

This Sunday one phrase from the sermon stuck with me:

Our deeds show who we are.

As military spouses we are often fighting a battle to be strong and independent while our lives are significantly impacted by the traditional military culture, including circumstances and expectations which often ask us to submit and fall in line.  At least, it can feel that way, and sometimes you just want to fight back!

We might blame the leadership.  

We might blame our husbands.  

We might even blame ourselves for getting into the mess to begin with and then vow not to bother getting involved again.

Sound familiar?

Conflict can push us beyond who we are, or at least who we want to be.  What we need, is to start expecting conflict.  Expect to disagree.  Expect not to be heard.  Expect to me misunderstood.  Expect that others are not always going to recognize you as the strong, independent, expert that you are.

Recognize that there will always be conflict when people come together!  That does not mean we should not stop trying.  Conflict resolution is the only way we will learn anything from each other, and the only way to bring us closer together.  We are military spouses, and we are strong and independent, and we need stand strong for each other, not against each other.

What do you see happening in your military community that represents the strength and independence of the spouses around you?  Feel free to post links!

~ Tia Sunshine

(Technology is constantly changing.  If you have not started following me on Facebook, do it now!  There will be changes coming to my blog over the next few months.  Look for future opportunities to opt-in for newsletters to keep up to date with the future launch of a new website!)

Prepared for More

Where is your passion?

What gets your goat?

What drives you nuts?

What in your world doesn't work?

What do you truly care about?

What is your mess?

Your mess?  I'll bet you are not the only one who can claim that mess.  I'll bet you are surrounded by others who are going crazy about the same things you are!  The problem I often run into is focusing on my frustration, my disfunction, and myself.  Pretty soon a valid problem becomes a hopeless, defeating rant.

 Therefore we do not despair,  but even if our physical body is wearing away, our inner person is being renewed day by day.  For our momentary, light suffering is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison because we are not looking at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I'll be honest, I do muddle through my daily frustrations.  I make it all work.  I might not solve the problem, but I adapt.  And guess what?  Through all that adapting, I have gained experience.  Every experience, every obstacle, every mess I have been entangled in has prepared me for something more.

I don't always know what to do with these experiences.

Too often I take my successes and failures and dictate my expectations onto others.

But, what if I  made a daily commitment to give my thoughts, my frustrations, and my experiences to God?  

What if my mess means more to God?  Because I am convinced it does mean more.

Was there a need not met for me?  

Maybe I can fill that need for someone else.

Was there a blessing that turned my life around?

(hint... there have been many!)

Maybe I can be that blessing for someone else.

God creates success in our life when we honor Him by giving our mess to Him.

Do you agree?

~ Tia Sunshine

On The Spot!

I could not sleep last night!  It was one of three things:

1. It was the glass of red wine before bed. (Sometimes that happens)

2. I felt bad about going to bed instead of chatting with a good friend in a different time zone. (Sorry, Katie - I should have stayed up since I didn't end up sleeping anyhow)

3. I was super excited about presenting OFS at an FRG tomorrow.
* You don't know what OFS is?! Click here to learn more.
** You don't know what FRG is?! Well, that can be a long explanation, but I'll give you the simple answer:  Family Readiness Group is a unit specific support group for sharing unit specific information to family members.


I am so energized about the progress on bringing Operation Faithful Support (OFS) to Fort Wainwright, Alaska, that I am pretty sure an adrenaline rush is what kept my brain spinning.  Jill Bozeman has blessed the Army community by creating the OFS program, and she has really set an outstanding example on how to solve a problem and fill a need! Jill has inspired me to think out of the box, and it was the push I needed to go from studying and occasional blogging to something more.  

I am super excited to be invited to speak at an FRG meeting, and when I did manage to sleep last night, I was dreaming about how I would present OFS in a dynamic and heartfelt way.  If you know me, you probably know that I can tell a story... at least when I don't feel on the spot.  For some reason, despite all I know about public speaking, I need practice.

Want to give me some advice?  Go ahead!  I love to get comments here or on my Facebook page.

Schedule It!

I am ready, and I am motivated! Are you ready for something bigger?

I am so excited that the last few years of studying and exploring what direction to point MY time has brought me to how I feel today.  I am renewed, dedicated, and focused!

Sure, it might be the time of the month when my hormones help my get-up-and-go, but I am going to take full advantage of it.  Not only am I learning to work within my own personal cycles, I am learning to work within the cycles of community.  There are needs in our communities, and we all have a place to step up and fill that need that fits our joy and abilities.

Image from Kaye Putnam at SuccessfulMilitaryWife.com

Are you taking the time TODAY to explore what brings you joy and how you can bless others in your own unique way?  Do it.  Even if it means putting time for yourself on your calendar this week... this month... just make the time!

~ Tia Sunshine

(Technology is constantly changing.  If you have not started following me on Facebook, do it now!  There will be changes coming to my blog over the next few months.  Look for future opportunities to opt-in for newsletters to keep up to date with the future launch of a new website!)

"God" Broadcast

Much in the same way that the Jeep commercial failed to explain how Jeep is supporting our soldiers, Ram also failed to mention that they would be donating to FFA through the sharing of its "Farmer" video... otherwise known as a commercial.  It seems a lot of the debate over these highly viewed commercials has to do with who is benefiting from these commercials.  Is it the soldiers, the farmers, or the companies promoting these programs?  A great level of consideration is also given to whose voice was used to emotionally call attention to the message.  For some, simply the use of Oprah's voice was enough to make them question if the Jeep commercial was genuine.  And, comparatively, some enjoyed the timber of Paul Harvey's voice so much as to look past any theological problems with his words.

The Ram commercial bothered me, so I posted a question on my fan page that intended to begin a conversation exploring what people thought about the commercial.

I am wondering if I am the only person who thought that the Ram Farmer Commercial threw the name of God around fairly flagrantly? No offense to farmers. It just felt like the sort of self-serving name-dropping that always bothered me before opening my heart to God.  

What many responses told me was that people longed for a moment to recognize farmers, to remember a lifestyle centered around family, hard work, self-relience, and God.  I do agree that bringing all that imagery into a Superbowl commercial was a refreshing stark contrast to the sad majority of commercials.

Some people grasped at the opportunity to revel in hearing "God" mentioned in such a highly publicized public platform.  It is indeed nice to hear mention of Christianity outside of the common 'attack' from politics on the TV.

It has also been mentioned by more than one close friend that I am reading too much into it.  It is a commercial, and we don't need to take it that seriously.

I will clarify that I am not particularly offended by the commercial.  I also do not think that Ram, or Paul Harvey for that matter, intended to abuse the name of God.  However... 

I do think that as a Christian, it is important to understand your own theology.  Paul Harvey's broadcast misrepresents how I personally see God, and how I interpret scripture.  Perhaps I do put too much thought into things, but I think that those outside the faith looking in are looking pretty darn close at what we believe.  If we do not have a firm grasp of what we believe outside of how we feel emotionally, then we will have a difficult time embracing the hearts and minds of those that are still searching.  

Think of the size of that Superbowl audience.  Think of those that heard the commercial, and what that commercial said to them:  

* That God needs us *

Not that God loves us, and that we need Him.

*That it is ok to use God's name to glorify an industry and a lifestyle*

Not that we use God's name to glorify Him and share His word.

Deuteronomy 5:11
You must not make use of the name of the Lord your God for worthless purposes, for the Lord will not exonerate anyone who abuses his name that way.

So, against the grain, I present to you the above argument as to why I heard "self-serving name dropping" when I saw this particular commercial.

I will leave you with two other thoughts.  First, that this might be a more accurate picture of farming today:

And second that this is in no way meant to judge those who love the commercial or tear us apart as Christians.  As a wise teacher of mine said about it, "Everyone should be allowed to weigh in on the issue."

Romans 14:1-4

 Now receive the one who is weak in the faith, and do not have disputes over differing opinions.  One person believes in eating everything, but the weak person eats only vegetables.  The one who eats everything must not despise the one who does not, and the one who abstains must not judge the one who eats everything, for God has accepted him. Who are you to pass judgment on another’s servant? Before his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

A Valentine for the Bully

Image by Will Wallace at Creation Swap

I tend to see prayer as a fairly simple, yet very meaningful process.  Yet, our PWOC Prayer Coordinator always makes me THINK a little deeper about the dynamics of prayer.  Recently she provided the following illustration: Why do we give a valentine to each kid in class, including the kid that is not so nice to us?  

Next she told us to think of someone in our life that is difficult to love.

I found that the first person to come to mind was not actually difficult to love, just difficult to get along with.  But, I dug deeper and found someone.  

This woman isn't someone I know personally, but someone that has touched my life in a very personal way... a very painful way.  A person who probably stands alone in the classification of someone who I have claimed to actually hate.  

Now that I think about it, I have probably allowed that hate because I do not know her personally.  The only things I know about her seem to relate to how she hurt me.

But, despite the place this person holds in my memory, I did what I was told.  I prayed for her.  I did it purposefully, and I did it with all my heart.  And, it lifted a weight.

It is amazing how, while writing about it now, my heart wants to hold onto the pain instead of embracing forgiveness.  So, I will turn again to the scripture I prayed that morning, and I will pray it again.

 I do not cease to give thanks for you when I remember you in my prayers.  I pray that  the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you spiritual wisdom and revelation  in your growing knowledge of him,  – since the eyes of your  heart have been enlightened  – so that you may know what is the hope of his calling,  what is the wealth of his glorious inheritance in the saints,  and what is the incomparable  greatness of his power toward  us who believe, as displayed in  the exercise of his immense strength. ^{(Ephesians 1:16-19)}

For this reason we also, from the day we heard about you, have not ceased praying for you and asking God to fill  you with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you may live worthily of the Lord and please him in all respects  – bearing fruit in every good deed, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might for the display of  all patience and steadfastness, joyfully giving thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the saints’ inheritance in the light.  (Colossians 1:9-12)

While my understanding is that the author, in both cases, is making this prayer because he knows his audience is made up of believers, it still works for me.  I do not know if this person who hurt me is a believer.  I do not know where she started, and I do not know how far she has come since our paths crossed.  

BUT... I do know that I can pray that her heart is open, and that He will give her spiritual wisdom and revelation in her growing knowledge of Him.  I do know that I would want her to live worthily of the Lord and please him in all respects, growing, being strengthened, and joyful in giving thanks to God.  

So, if nothing else, I will pray with my whole heart for her to come to Him.